Okay I fixed it. Problem was that I forgot to set systemd.network.enable = true.
For anyone else being as intelligent as I was here’s what to do:
Your network will not have a working IP address, so you need to log in through the server’s console and configure it. If this is a server at some provider, look up the IP and gateway assigned to you and do
$ ip addr add 1.2.3.4/22 dev ens3
$ ip route add default via 1.2.3.0 dev ens3
(Use your assign IP address in place of 1.2.3.4/22, your network interface name in place of ens3, and the gateway in place of 1.2.3.0).
This should get your network back up and running.
Afterwards you should be able to deploy the fixed configuration with colmena.