Unable to get an IPv6 address via DHCPv6

This problem truly has driven me to my wit’s end. I cannot believe it, but it seems that I am the only human being on planet earth that has run into this problem.

If I manually assign an IPv6 address, all things IPv6-related will work for a while… before imploding on themselves again when my ISP decides that it’s time for a new address. Waaah!!!

My full Nix Config: