Sometimes home-manager and NixOS both have a module for configuring the same thing.
I usually look in man configuration.nix and man home-configuration.nix for the NixOS and home-manager options respectively. But here are the same docs online:
You are correct that the ghcArgs option does not exist in the home-manager version of the xmonad module. In home-manager it uses xmonad --recompile whereas in NixOS it builds using ghc directly (well, via pkgs.writers.writeHaskellBin).
Which GHC options do you need to change? Perhaps an OPTIONS_GHC pragma could work?